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Most people would not think of me when they think lazy. I know that I can be hard on myself. But what can I say if I am sitting on the laptop, or if I spend a couple of hours watching a movie, especially if there are chores to finish I do feel guilty and lazy. So today I got off my butt and cleaned up the house. The way I like, top to bottom with plenty of bleach and soap so there isn't a speck of dirt. In true OCD fashion ;) I also managed to watch a movie, and now I am goofing off on the laptop, not bad for one day.
I think I was able to distract myself enough to come out of the horny funk I was in yesterday. I didn't jump in my car and meet MNG this morning when he called. I stuck to the cleaning and the other stuff I needed to do around the house. I have been letting things slide in order to be with him (very highschool if I must say so myself). Or maybe after a decade of it being all about the boys I was just happy for a change, a fun change. But I know I can't get hypnotized by it.
Corey was home last night after almost an entire week away. And I must admit I missed having him home. I think I will like the 2 nights a week with Vikki and 1 night with Don better. I have finally come to the place in my life where I can admit that I can't do it all alone and more importantly that I don't want to. I want to have some time for a life of my own outside of being Corey's mom. And I want to provide Cam with a little bit of normalcy (whatever the hell that is). But I don't want to give Corey up either. Hopefully I will find a happy medium between missing him and him driving me crazy.
Don hasn't called but I am not surprised. I told him not to call if he couldn't speak to me with respect. And then to add insult to injury when he did try to be respectful last weekend I didn't drop my panties on the spot and run over there. I am not ready to make a thing out of it though. I have been here many times before. But whenever I say I am done I always wind up running back to him. He is definitely where my insanity comes out. He has shown me time and time again that we can't have the life I want if we are together. So I leave and make a life of my own. But the minute he shows signs of accepting that and moving on I get the whole thing going again. Insane right?
I think I was able to distract myself enough to come out of the horny funk I was in yesterday. I didn't jump in my car and meet MNG this morning when he called. I stuck to the cleaning and the other stuff I needed to do around the house. I have been letting things slide in order to be with him (very highschool if I must say so myself). Or maybe after a decade of it being all about the boys I was just happy for a change, a fun change. But I know I can't get hypnotized by it.
Corey was home last night after almost an entire week away. And I must admit I missed having him home. I think I will like the 2 nights a week with Vikki and 1 night with Don better. I have finally come to the place in my life where I can admit that I can't do it all alone and more importantly that I don't want to. I want to have some time for a life of my own outside of being Corey's mom. And I want to provide Cam with a little bit of normalcy (whatever the hell that is). But I don't want to give Corey up either. Hopefully I will find a happy medium between missing him and him driving me crazy.
Don hasn't called but I am not surprised. I told him not to call if he couldn't speak to me with respect. And then to add insult to injury when he did try to be respectful last weekend I didn't drop my panties on the spot and run over there. I am not ready to make a thing out of it though. I have been here many times before. But whenever I say I am done I always wind up running back to him. He is definitely where my insanity comes out. He has shown me time and time again that we can't have the life I want if we are together. So I leave and make a life of my own. But the minute he shows signs of accepting that and moving on I get the whole thing going again. Insane right?
