I just want to thank the Lord for waking me up this morning...

[cah1470]

I have been feeling grateful.  I go back and forth between grateful and never satisfied, contentment and greed.  The gratefulness is as much a part of my DNA as religion is.  It doesn't matter what I have learned or how far I have evolved from my childhood.  It doesn't matter what I believe now.  The church will always be a part of me because I was raised there.  For most of my school age years I went to church every Wednesday night.  During the Wednesday night service everyone would stand up and give their testimony.  Now my mom's church is not a place for the well off, the large majority are working folks trying to make a dollar out of 15 cents.  But every Wednesday night you would have at least half the church if not more stand up one by one and give their tesitmony.  It wasn't hard to see the irony even for me at a young age,  You are homeless but the lord found away for you to eat today, you are cripple but the lord allowed you to have a sound mind...  

So anyway I have been in grateful mode this week and today I realized just how much that "gratefulness" is a part of me.  I was riding home for lunch the weather was gorgeous.  It was one of those days where you realize where the phrase "carolina blue" came from.  I had the windows down and my satellite radio blaring.  I found myself thinking wow what a great day, and I am so grateful to have a car to drive and a home to go to.  Yes folks I know, I found the irony too let me finish.  So as I am driving it dawns on me what I was thinking.  Now I had a drunk driver hit my car and it shows.  I was going home because I forgot my wallet.  And even though I was early this morning I went to get breakfast waited in the line and then realized I didn't have my money!  Not the kind of events that have you thanking your lucky stars.  Oh and the satelite radio?  Dangling because the kit that held it up snapped during the accident.  I have to admit I laughed at myself all the way back to work, a sister in a beat down 1995 Camry, with the radio dangling, is grateful!  And even laying all that out, I still am :)

But before you know it I will be the girl from Willy Wonka again, I want the world, I want the WHOLE world, and I don't care how I WANT IT NOW!!!  Trying to figure out why I can't have more, why my son is special needs, why I never have enough money, why I can't find like minded individuals to go out and do things with, and on and on.  But then I will think of how much Corey has changed me for the better, all the wonderful moments I have had raising him.  I will remember someone who was laid off with me who didn't find another job, I will think of all the people I have met and what a great summer I had (we will always have Washington ;)  And just like that I will be grateful again, see what I mean?  I guess it really is part of my DNA...

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it's the little things. it really is the little things.