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Well I didn't go to the reception, I did get my hair done though (finally). It was so gorgeous out yesterday that I spent a fair amount of my time outside with the puppy. I still feel like crap but I figure I will feel like that regardless, might as well enjoy the weather while it lasts. I have to admit that what Herb said to me on Wednesday is bothering me a bit. I guess I have given up to some degree. I do find myself at home a helluva lot more than I would have been 10 years ago. I do find that I don't take Corey with me as much and I am not as determined as I used to be to not let Corey slow me down or keep me from doing the things I want. But it is hard to know if that is Corey wearing me down or me just getting older. There is no doubt that 26 year old me would have gotten out of bed when I woke up at 7:00 and done my hair early so I could go to the Pagan festival at the park, so I would have plenty of time to go to the reception. And 36 year old me didn't start on her hair until noon, missed the park and wound up missing the reception. I did take Corey to Vikki's and went out for a little while yesterday evening. But I guess I am a little worn down. Now when I am invited to a gathering and they ask me not to bring Corey I just don't go, even though I have Vikki to help.
This morning I was invited to my dad's birthday party (yes that is a strange way to write that but it's accurate). I was asked not to bring Corey but to please bring Cam because my dad really wants to see him. I asked Vikki to take Corey so I could go. Is that giving up too? Giving up on the idea of Corey being included, a part of the family, treated like any other grandchild? Probably but I am going to have to pick and choose what is worth it and what is not or I am going to be a miserable angsty mess. I have decided to be grateful I have Vikki and take Cam to celebrate my dads 65th birthday.
This morning I was invited to my dad's birthday party (yes that is a strange way to write that but it's accurate). I was asked not to bring Corey but to please bring Cam because my dad really wants to see him. I asked Vikki to take Corey so I could go. Is that giving up too? Giving up on the idea of Corey being included, a part of the family, treated like any other grandchild? Probably but I am going to have to pick and choose what is worth it and what is not or I am going to be a miserable angsty mess. I have decided to be grateful I have Vikki and take Cam to celebrate my dads 65th birthday.
